Let’s Talk About Mental Health

Practice Support, The Future-Focused Lawyer

August 2024

7 min read

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Mental Health Amongst Lawyers

“I don’t have time to rest! I have exams, a mooting competition to prepare for and more internships to apply to!”

“People are going to wise up and figure out I’m not that smart.”

“I keep worrying that I don’t have all the facts, that there’s more I need to look up and consider. All these thoughts, going round and round in my head. I can’t sleep, I’m exhausted, but I can’t stop.”

In my years as a clinical psychologist, I’ve worked with aspiring law students and young lawyers. Every one of these individuals is a credit to their profession: diligent, intelligent, passionate and eloquent. Their minds work at such a fast pace that I find myself sprinting to match their speed, and I can’t help but feel such admiration for them.

And yet, these are the same folks who feel a deep sense of imposter syndrome, a profound fear of failure and mistakes. Some also feel an intense loneliness, working in a field that may not only be misunderstood by people outside the profession, but is also at its core, about competition and winning.

Let me paint you a picture: a young lawyer, awake in their bed at three in the morning. Their mind scours all the worst possible outcomes for a new contract they’re drafting. Then it shifts to replaying that one scene in which they lost their train of thought in court, as the judge’s brows furrowed, and beside them, rang the impatient tap-tap-tapping of the senior partner’s pen.

Meanwhile, their phone blows up with text messages and emails from an anxious client, an aggressive opposing counsel, and a senior lawyer asking for updates. There may be messages from family asking why they haven’t visited lately, friends asking why they have become distant. Any sense of control they have is slipping from them, no matter how desperately they grip onto the fraying threads.

Sounds familiar? Feel your heart pounding, your face going hot, a heavy weight on your chest or a tightness in your belly?

These are signs of stress, if not anxiety – emotions that this imaginary lawyer is experiencing.

If we pile on more factors like past traumas, existing mental illnesses, a lack of social support and other personal stressors, this lawyer is at a higher risk of developing burnout and any number of mental illnesses compared to the general population.

According to the American Bar Association 2018 National Task Report on Lawyer Wellbeing,¹ 26 to 38% of lawyers qualify as “problem drinkers,” 28% of lawyers reported struggling with depression, and 19% reported struggling with anxiety. In 2021, the New York State Bar Association Task Force on Attorney Wellness² indicated that 37% of experienced lawyers reported having health-related problems within the last three years.

Stress, Self-care, Self-compassion

Some of you may scoff at the aforementioned statistics. You have entered this profession with your eyes wide open, fully aware of the stress that comes with the role. “I’m not like them,” you say. “I’m well-equipped to handle whatever comes my way.”

And you may well be! But you are only human. And as humans, we have limits.

It’s true that some of us seem to possess the impressive ability to juggle dozens of plates at once, like well-oiled automatons that just keep going. But these folks have limits, too. They may not show it, but they do.

From my own professional experience working with lawyers, these same people tend to push and push, and push past their limits until they hit an immovable wall and shatter into pieces. In short, you can spare yourself an intense level of distress if you were able to see that proverbial wall, acknowledge it and slow down.

It is therefore imperative that you are able to identify your stress signs, recognise when you have pushed past your optimal level of stress and engage in adaptive coping strategies to reduce stress. It is even more crucial that you engage in self-compassion and allow yourself to rest.

First, let’s talk about stress signs. Stress signs fall into four categories:

Emotional signs

Feeling agitated, frustrated, moody
Feeling overwhelmed, out of control
Feeling lonely, worthless, depressed

Physical signs

Low energy
Aches, pains, tension
Insomnia or hypersomnia
Frequent illness
Rapid heartbeat, restlessness, sweaty hands

Cognitive signs

Constant worrying
Racing thoughts
Forgetfulness, disorganisation
Difficulty concentrating
Seeing only the negatives

Behavioural signs

Change in appetite (eating more, less, or specific cravings)
Procrastinating
Social withdrawal
Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes
More nervous behaviours

It would be helpful to jot down your stress signs so as to increase your awareness of them.

Next, rate the intensity of your stress on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 refers to no stress and 10 refers to extremely stressed). Generally, an intensity of 6 and above indicates that you have hit that wall, so it is time to find ways to manage your stress.

Stress management includes exercise, a nutritious diet and good sleep hygiene, as well as more personalised activities such as baking, reading, listening to music, playing sudoku, praying, or cleaning.

There is no one coping activity that works for everyone. What’s important is that you engage in an activity that helps you to feel relaxed and rejuvenated in the long run, as opposed to brief, temporary relief before the guilt, shame and anxiety intensifies.

For instance, I have clients who watch YouTube as a form of stress management. Some have reported that it helps them to drown out the noise in their head and fall sleep, whereas others wind up watching so many hours that they miss deadlines or turn up late for class or work. The former is an adaptive strategy that serves those clients well, whereas the latter has turned into a maladaptive one that does not work.

If you find that your coping activity is actually creating more distress, it’s time to experiment with some other activities to find out what would work better for you.

Here, I can hear the voices of my lawyer clients:

“But I don’t have time for these activities.”

“I’ll lose momentum if I stop.”

“What if I become complacent because I told myself it’s OK to pause and destress?”

This is where self-compassion comes in.

According to Dr Kristen Neff, a pioneering researcher in the study of self-compassion, self-compassion is giving ourselves the kindness and support we give to others. It is easy for us to offer compassion to our loved ones when we see them struggling (“It’s OK for you to take a break,” “You have done enough,” “You are doing your best”). And yet, we become our own harshest critic when it comes to our own suffering.

Please visit Dr Neff’s website to learn more about self-compassion, take a self-compassion test and discover various ways to practise self-compassion.

Anxiety and Depression

Let’s say you decide to push against the wall, test your limits, see how far you can go. But you notice that these stress signs don’t go away. In fact, they seem to be getting worse. And, even after the stressor is gone, you notice continued tension in your body and worry in your mind.

You may now be struggling with anxiety.

Anxiety itself is not the issue – it is, after all, one of the many emotions we all experience at some point in our lives. However, if the anxiety is so intense, so persistent that you find it challenging to tackle daily tasks, perform at work, or navigate interpersonal relationships, then it has become a concern.

Here are some tips on managing anxiety:

Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and noticing our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations, without judgment. Examples include deep breathing, body scan, and visualization exercises like Leaves on a Stream. I recommend the following phone apps: Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer.
Make two separate lists of what is within your control and what is not. Let go of the things you cannot control with mindfulness exercises while focusing on the ones that you can. For items within your control, act on the ones you can and plan out the ones you cannot.
Carry a grounding object. Keep a small object (e.g., gemstone, ring, keychain) in your pocket. When you feel your anxiety spike in the moment, you can hold the object in your palm. Notice how it feels against your skin, notice its shape and size. The intent is to anchor you down so anxiety won’t sweep you around like a maelstrom.

Instead of – or in addition to – anxiety, perhaps you experience a dip in mood – feeling sad most of the time or a loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy. A sense of worthlessness or guilt may creep in and, suddenly, you notice yourself entertaining suicidal thoughts like, “It’d be nice if I could close my eyes and never wake up again.”

These could be signs of depression.

Below are some suggestions on managing depression:

Engage in pleasurable activities. Engage in three small activities that you enjoy, like listening to your favourite music, journaling, cuddling your pet, or drinking a cup of hot tea.
Stay connected. You may feel a strong urge to withdraw but do your best to reach out to loved ones. You don’t have to share what you’re going through; sometimes just being in the presence of someone who cares for you is enough.
Set realistic goals. When we’re depressed, even getting out of bed can feel like a colossal hurdle. Break down your goals and tasks so they feel more manageable and celebrate each little task you accomplish.

Seeking Help

Now, you’ve tried everything. You’ve hit that wall and tried to manage the symptoms as best as you can – but nothing is working. It’s time to seek professional help. But how many lawyers actually do?

In the 2021 survey conducted by the New York State Bar Association Task Force on Attorney Wellness,² more than 70% of judicial and solo practitioners indicated that they had not considered seeking professional help.

And the ones who do, in my experience, feel immense shame for it.

Throughout your career or school days, you have been encouraged to show that you are capable and highly competent, so any kind of weakness is to be avoided. But seeking help is not a weakness. Struggling with mental health concerns is not a sign of fragility, either.

The truth is, we are all going to struggle at some point. We’re all going to have days when we’re so stressed we lose our appetite and sleep. We’re all going to have moments when we can’t see past the fog in our minds, when we can’t find the strength to stand on our own two feet.

Many of the lawyers I’ve seen would tell of their ability to put on a mask at work, that the folks around them would be surprised to learn that they’re seeing a therapist or taking psychiatric medication. In response, I have posed this question to them: If you can put this mask on, what makes you so sure that your peers aren’t doing the same?

Former Law Society President Adrian Tan highlighted the loss of 310 junior lawyers in 2021, a record high that made up nearly 60% of the resignations, as reported by Channel News Asia³ and The Straits Times.⁴ Across both articles, young lawyers cited reasons that included long hours, lack of boundaries, poor sleep, demanding clients, impatient judges, and unsupportive bosses.

More likely than not, you are not the only lawyer in your firm to be suffering. More likely than not, you are not the only lawyer who needs help sometimes.

From one human being to another, I hope for you to remember: It’s okay to need help.